It's A Slow Day At Work... The Ducks Suck

As if this muthafucka needed an introduction. But in case you be one dense ass bitch, I'll spell it out for ya - Any and all rants about any and all things can be directed to this here forum. Rant on mah brothas!

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Metal Lord
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It's A Slow Day At Work... The Ducks Suck

Post by Metal Lord » Fri May 08, 2009 1:21 pm

The Ducks don’t belong in hockey. I almost don’t even know where to begin explaining myself. Let me start by saying that every Ducks fan is a hockey n00b and retard. I don’t care if you’ve been backing the Sucks of Anaheim since Disney bought their way into the NHL back in ’93 you’re still a n00b to the sport, a retard, and represent all that is wrong with hockey. I grew up in Orange County but have been a loyal Kings fan way before a stupid kids movie helped make hockey common. I remember seeing practically the whole sports section of the Orange County Register devoted to explaining the rules and fundamentals of hockey for a bunch of “instant” fans that would become a scourge on hockey.

If you posses a discriminating ear or the slightest open mind you can hear that even the voices of the Sucks telecasts are just as dumb as the fans for whom they inarticulately call the games. I’m not sure if it’s a true lack of knowledge about the sport, a pathetic attempt to coin new phases, bias for their home team, or a conscious decision to communicate to Sucks fans in a language they will hopefully understand. But one thing is certain: they are the worst announcers in all of sport. And whoever directs the telecasts should be taken out and shot. They must be new to sports television and hockey as well.

While one can argue that heavy merchandising and commercialization of the NHL may have began with Gretzky moving to the Los Angeles Kings and their subsequent color change, I contend it began with the Sharks and came into full swing with the advent of the Sucks into the league (well aided by that putz Gary Bettman but I won’t go down that road). The color schemes, logos, Taco Bell cups, you name it, became the focus of the franchise rather than integrity of the sport of hockey and building a reputable team. And the n00bs bought it up like they invented hockey. I want the NHL to be successful but be successful for the sport and the talent, not the merchandise. And the success of the merchandising fiasco has lead to an exorbitant use of alternate/third color sweaters, teams changing colors every other season, and companies like Reebok making hockey equipment. Only CCM should be seen on a hockey sweater.

Now don’t mistake my hatred of the Sucks for hating the actual players. Teemu Salene is one of hockey’s best and I’ve been a fan of his since his rookie season in Winnipeg. I was so disappointed when he went to the Sucks. Their GM clearly knows what he’s doing having put together a strong team and owners that are willing to spend some cash on talent that won them a Cup.

Now maybe if the Sucks were the first team to come to So Cal or the first team below the 40th parallel things might be different. I am not advocating an elitist’s attitude about hockey and an exclusivity to northern cities (I was born and raised in So Cal remember) but the rapid expansion of the NHL of which the Sucks have been a part has resulted in a watered down league.

So whatever it is I have said here? Am I sensitized being in/near their market? It may seem harsh and I understand the importance of having a local team to cheer but everything about this franchise is wrong and I cannot condone or support in good conscience such a bane on a great sport like hockey.

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Re: It's A Slow Day At Work... The Ducks Suck

Post by Asshander » Sat May 09, 2009 6:41 am

I agree with you on pretty much every point, especially that their announcers are terrible (to be fair, the Angels also have awful announcers, but they're a touch better).

This goes into a completely different direction about how hockey is the bastard child of "major" sports in America, but damn it, it grinds my gears a bit that hockey always gets the shaft and, as a whole, ends up getting screwed when it comes to television rights. Makes it a pain in the ass for people to find, which in turns means it won't be watched therefore making it harder to get on tv, and so is a vicious cycle.

Bah, too early for me to think coherently.

Allow me to sum it up this way: when the Angels made it to the Series a few years back, even though I bleed Dodgers fucking blue, I was able to cheer the Angels on because I had (some) fond memories of them from when I was younger and still loved baseball. Sciosa is also their skipper, and well, I grew up watching the guy. But any time the Ducks even come close to the playoffs, let alone get in? Fuck them. Go other team, even fucking Colorado!

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Re: It's A Slow Day At Work... The Ducks Suck

Post by Ketch » Wed May 13, 2009 11:01 pm

In regards to the OP, that was a well thought out and articulate post as to why the Ducks suck. I usually simply state how I hate the Ducks...Sucks, but if I were to take the time to deduce the logical reasons as to why I dislike them, my argument would be very similar to yours.

As to hockey being the "bastard" of the "Big 4" when it comes to major sports that seems to be an unfortunate reality. I could go off about the lack of coverage on television, and although that it would appropriate in this section of the forum, it would be little more then self serving. I recall when I moved to California, and the hockey "boom" was starting in the United States, you could go to stores such as Big 5 or Sports Chalet and find a descent selection of hockey equipment. Over the years the selection of equipment was dwindled to the point you see a few sticks, some pucks, and maybe another random item or two. Hopefully Hockey as a whole will grow once more, because it really is an awesome game.

Ohh and Go Wings! At least Go Wings for one game.
"if you can't spot the sucker in your first thirty minutes at the table, then YOU are the sucker" - Rounders

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Re: It's A Slow Day At Work... The Ducks Suck

Post by Asshander » Fri May 15, 2009 6:36 am

W00t! Wings won! But Chicago got rid of Vancouver? Ugh. I stopped caring about Chicago the moment Belfour left.

And the Canes knocked the Bruins out? WTF? The two best teams in hockey don't even make it to the semis, let alone the finals? Man, what a fucked up playoffs.

I officially declare, from this point forward, go Pens and Wings. And then...I'm torn.

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Re: It's A Slow Day At Work... The Ducks Suck

Post by Metal Lord » Fri May 15, 2009 7:34 am

Asshander wrote:W00t! Wings won!....I officially declare, from this point forward, go Pens and Wings. And then...I'm torn.
I was so stoked with the Wings victory over the Sucks. In some weird way I kind of felt bad for the Sucks. But then I realized that I felt bad for them in the same way one would feel bad for someone with Down's Syndrome. You know they tried hard but just couldn't do it. But didn't feel the least bit of sympathy for their fans, Trisomy 21 or not.

Was kind of shocked with Carolina upsetting Boston. It was a great game 7. The way Ryder was buzzing all over I thought he'd be involved in a play so that the Bruins would end up with the win.

Not torn at all for who I want to see raise the cup. Go Pens. That is a clear cut choice for me. When the Kings aren't in it it's Penguins all the way (I end up routing for the Pens a lot these days :roll: )
Ketch wrote:....and the hockey "boom" was starting in the United States, you could go to stores such as Big 5 or Sports Chalet and find a descent selection of hockey equipment. Over the years the selection of equipment was dwindled to the point you see a few sticks, some pucks, and maybe another random item or two.
Totally

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