More DSL bullshit

As if this muthafucka needed an introduction. But in case you be one dense ass bitch, I'll spell it out for ya - Any and all rants about any and all things can be directed to this here forum. Rant on mah brothas!

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Gomer
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More DSL bullshit

Post by Gomer » Wed Oct 22, 2003 1:13 pm

So I'm sitting here on the phone right now, listening to the SBC person (who admittedly, is nice enough) explain to me why I still do not qualify for DSL, even at my new address.

See, today I was supposed to get the signal turned on, but I'd not received any hardware yet. So I decided to call them today to find out when they shipped out the hardware (really, it was to make sure they sent it out at all). So I get this lady on the phone and I tell her the story, and she looks it up, and informs me that the DSL contractor they work with cancelled the order because my address "does not qualify". No explanation is associated with this. I inform her that I live literally one block away from another individual who just had their DSL turned on no more than a week ago. She says that she would need to talk to someone from their DSL department to find out the exact reason why, but based on her previous experiences, she thinks that possibly they've maxed out the ports on whatever switch/router/whatever I'm close to.

Well now the lady is finished calling around, and I'm informed, just like I was at the condo, that I am again just out of range of the maximum required distance from the main office. I tell her that this was the exact same excuse I was told at a place that is significantly (in terms of feet anyway) farther away from where I'm at now. How can I be "just on the border" over there, and still "just on the border" at the new place? It's a bunch of horseshit. I tell her that it's ridiculous that a person who lives within a 5 minute walk from my place is "in range", but I'm not. I refuse to believe that. She offers some other theory on how sometimes people will go through "other" DSL providers who will provide the service beyond this SBC predetermined radius, but they get connection speeds that are "no better than dialup" and get charged DSL prices. I inform her that I'm fairly certain this person who lives a block away is doing their service strictly through SBC. She cannot offer any other explanation for me, and I make a point of making sure I do not get charged for any sort of DSL service starting today, since I wouldn't put it past SBC to charge for activating a DSL signal on my account even though I "don't qualify".

Bullshit. It's all complete bullshit. If I didn't qualify, why couldn't they have told me that from the start? Why couldn't their "initial availability check" have caught that? And when the order got cancelled, why wasn't I notified, via phone or mail? Had I not made a point of calling them today, I would've had no idea what was going on. If I'm "just out of range" now, why the fuck was I "just out of range" a mile away? There are 5,280 feet in a mile last time I checked, and if I'm "slightly" out of range now, what the fuck was I when I was another 5,000 feet away? And as I mentioned before, I don't think Matt (and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong Mr. Everhart) went through any two-bit DSL provider to get a signal, I'm fairly certain it was all done through SBC. But even if it wasn't, based on the rave reviews he has given it thus far, it certainly doesn't sound like he's getting speeds that "aren't much better than dial-up".

I'm calling the DSL department directly when I get home tonight and finding out exactly what the fuck is going on. I've had it with this shit. I swear the computer gods have deemed that I shall never see a broadband connection for as long as I live.

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Post by Hellraiser » Wed Oct 22, 2003 2:34 pm

It sounds to me that they should have not charged you anything. No services were rendered. I would ask for a refund if it turns out that you do not qualify. If nothing else, they deserve an earful for whatever they charged. Good luck with it. That sucks that they lead you on like that.

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Post by Gomer » Wed Oct 22, 2003 4:33 pm

I was assured by the lady on the phone that I would not be charged. If I end up getting a bill that does, I will raise all unholy hell. I still have every intention of calling them back first thing tomorrow morning and finding out what the problem is, because I've looked at a map, and I am within a 3 mile radius of the central office they speak of. The lady on the phone told me that I was "19,000" feet from the CO, but according to the map I looked at, I'm not even 15,000 feet from it, which should be well within their fucked up "range". So I'm calling first thing tomorrow to find out what their fucking trip is (they were closed after I got home...bastards).

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Post by Asshander » Wed Oct 22, 2003 6:31 pm

Ouch.

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Post by Gomer » Thu Oct 23, 2003 11:39 am

Welp, I called the DSL peeps this morning, and spoke with a guy who told me that when he runs my phone number for DSL qualification, he gets a big fat NO, but when he runs my address for DSL qualification, he gets a big fat YES. His theory is that the DSL department does not have my new address on file, and my phone number, since I brought it over from the old address, is still tied to the old address. Naturally, he had no clue who could help me remedy this (he was merely in the sales department, not a tech), but at least now I have an idea of what's wrong. I've also talked to a couple other people today who've had similar problems getting their DSL service activated, and they tell me to just keep calling, and not to take "no" for an answer. And if all else fails, just keep moving up the customer service food chain (supervisors, managers, etc.). Since I can't really fight with these dumbasses on the phone while at work (well I could, but that wouldn't look real good), I'll have to wait until either tomorrow, when no one else is in here, or this Saturday when I have a day off. So the quest continues.

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Post by Hellraiser » Thu Oct 23, 2003 2:26 pm

Too bad SBC is only availible dsl provider in that area worth buying from. You seem to be dealing with a lot of crap. If they had more competion, they would be all about "slobbing your knob" with customer service. Well, hang in there and Good luck.

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Post by The Clit Commander » Thu Oct 23, 2003 11:07 pm

Yuck... I had Verizon DSL at an apartment a few years ago, and it took me literally 4 months, and at least 30 hours on the phone before I got it all squared away. Just keep on their case and if they give you grief, keep on goin up the food chain until you find someone who can help you.
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Post by Gomer » Fri Oct 24, 2003 11:42 am

So I continued to fight the good fight today.

After discussing the situation yesterday with a few of my lunch partners, I called SBC back today armed with a few more tricks up my sleeve. I called not long after arriving at work, and was put on the phone with a fairly nice lady, to whom I explained the situation. She asked me to hold while she checked on the order. After being put on hold for about 5 minutes, she returns to the phone and informs me that my new address is, in fact, about 19,000 feet from the central office, and that I do not qualify for DSL. I explain to her that I know an individual who lives a block farther away from the CO than I, and that he has DSL. I further inform her that I was told by the previous owners of the house I am now in told me that they had DSL while they were here. She attempts to convince me that sometimes, when people have their service disconnected, the phone company will "reroute the cables so that other people can qualify for DSL" (complete bullshit). In essence, she was trying to tell me that even though this very building got DSL at one point, it no longer can. I tell her that I refuse to believe that everybody in the neighborhood except me can get DSL, especially when DSL used to be activated at this very address. I tell her that if this address had DSL at one point, then there is a way to make it work, even though it is "19,000 feet" from the CO. She informs me that she can transfer me to the DSL department to speak to them, and I ask her to put a supervisor on the phone. I'm on hold for another 5 minutes or so when she returns to the line and tells me that she is having the DSL department run a line check on my house, because it "doesn't sound right" that everyone in my neighborhood can get it, but I can't (no shit). After another couple of minutes on hold, I get a manager on the phone, and he tells me that my address is, in fact, beyond the 16,000 foot range of the CO (I still am not convinced of this) but that they can put me on a "remote terminal", which would basically make it so that my distance from the CO is irrelevant. He tells me that the only potential problem would be that all of the ports on the nearest remote terminal may be exhausted, and that he would check on that while I waited. I am put on hold again, for another few minutes, and the original lady comes back on the line, and tells me that they're still checking on the port availability, but that she will go ahead and take my order information while we are waiting. She asks me the usual barrage of questions (what OS are you running, processor speed, RAM, HD space available, etc.), all of which I answered two weeks ago when I originally put in the order. She tells me that she can't put the order in until she receives confirmation from the manager that there are ports available for me on this mystical "remote terminal" they speak of. So she asks me to hold, and I wait.

And wait.

For over 20 minutes I am on hold, listening to dead silence on the other end of the line. I begin to think that I've been disconnected as the minutes tick away, and how I'm going to be really pissed if I have to call back and explain all of this bullshit to a whole new person. Thankfully, I'd written down the names of everyone I'd spoken with, so if push came to shove, I could probably get them back on the line, but I really didn't wanna have to go through all of that shit. Finally, after about 25 minutes or so on hold, the manager returns to the line and informs me that yes, there are ports available, and yes, he has put the order in with the DSL department, and has also taken steps to ensure that they do not cancel the order again like they did the first time around. I ask him about how long until I get my hardware sent out and my signal turned on, and he tells me that the hardware should ship within 3-5 days, and that my signal will be turned on October 31st. I thank him for all of his help.

So that's where things stand right now. As of this moment, I currently have another DSL order pending, with hardware on the way and a scheduled activation date of next Friday. I hesitate to jump for joy just yet, as I am reserving celebration until I actually A) get the hardware in the mail, and B) see all three green lights on/blinking on my DSL modem. What I am beginning to wonder now though, is whether or not I could've gotten DSL at the condo. I don't know any details about how these "remote terminals" they speak of work, but it sounds like they alleviate the problem of being too far away from the central office, which I always assumed was my problem at the condo. It makes me wonder if I could've gotten DSL hooked up and working at the condo had I just known to bitch a little more. Probably best not to think about it.

But anyway, that's that. Today I have fought and won the battle. Now all I can do is sit back and wait to see if I have indeed won the war or not.

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Post by Asshander » Fri Oct 24, 2003 6:37 pm

Shit, that's terrible. I mean, I'm glad you've made progress, but it's ridiculous what you've had to go through.

My DSL info seems to be dated, but based solely on that, I'm pretty sure this isn't something you could have done before, or it's technical bullshit to cover up for their error. So, if that's encouraging at all, it looks like something relatively new. Maybe I should call SBC and see what happens....

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Post by Ketch » Mon Oct 27, 2003 7:20 pm

Damn that's some fucked up shit.

Yeah that's complete and total bullshit. When you first described the problem I was pretty sure it was just the had your phone number still hooked with your old address, but after you got that point across and they were still giving you shit is pretty fucked. At least you stayed with your guns and things seem to be moving along. There is no remote terminal bullshit, you either qualify or you don't and I know you do since I do. If you have any more problems let me know and I will be over when you call them and maybe I can pull the my Mom works for SBC so don't give me any shit routine. That should put them in their place if it should come to that. Let me know how it goes.
"if you can't spot the sucker in your first thirty minutes at the table, then YOU are the sucker" - Rounders

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Post by Gomer » Wed Oct 29, 2003 10:29 am

Well frankly, I don't know what the fuck to make of this latest turn of events.

I got home yesterday, and there was this little yellow sticky on my door that claimed to be from UPS. Upon further examination, the sticky insists that a delivery had been attempted from SBC, and that they would try again today. This boggles the mind, because this would indicate that SBC actually tried to send me my DSL hardware.

I honestly don't know how to respond to this. This indicates that, for once, SBC has actually followed through on my order. I'm certainly not doing the dance of joy just yet, but I can't help but feel a tiny bit excited, since this is the farthest I've ever gotten with them as it pertains to DSL. There's actually a tiny sliver of my mind that is beginning to believe I might actually see broadband by the end of the week. I make sure not to let that part get too out of hand though. We'll see what happens on Friday, when the signal is supposed to be turned on.

Pray for me.

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Post by Gomer » Thu Oct 30, 2003 9:07 am

We have DSL.

Yes, after years of being denied, it has finally happened. I received the hardware yesterday, and went about hooking it all up so I would be ready for the signal to be activated on Friday. After plugging everything in and turning it all on, I noticed that all 3 of the little lights on the DSL modem were lit and green. So I went ahead and popped the CD into my computer and perused through the list of software they claim you have to install. The only thing that appeared "necessary", was the SBC Connection Manager, only because, well, I have to have some way to connect to their service. Installation gave me a couple of errors, and naturally, the connection did not work. So I uninstalled the piece of shit and browsed straight to the CD for what I really needed - the Enternet Connection program. That's basically the program that the shitty SBC Connection Manager uses to connect to the network, without extra SBC bullshit. Again, this gave me an error while installing, so I had to go to the net to figure out what to do about it. Finally, after getting that worked out, I realize that the connection program is asking me for a username and password. I dump everything out of the SBC hardware box and don't see anything that indicates what my username/password would be. Eventually, I determine that I need to "register" my service on their gimp-ass registration site, which A) Is not Mozilla friendly, and B) Is slower than sin. After navigating the atrocious JSP setup they have (and reloading numerous stalled pages), I finally get my shit registered. I crack open the connection program, setup a new profile and KABLAMMO!, I'm surfing the net on broadband. Oh glorious day.

I've no idea really what kinda speeds I'm getting, as I didn't download anything real big last night. I still need to give it a real test run on something of reasonable size. Obviously, in surfing the net there was a significant speed increase, and it was definaltely cool to hear the phone ring whil surfing. Little things like that are still a novelty to me at this point. Dunno why I'm getting a signal 2 days earlier than expected. Perhaps, the organ banks over at SBC decided that I should be rewarded for having to haggle through their bullshit to get to this point? Doubtful, someone probably fucked up over there and accidentally flipped a switch two days early. Whatever. I won't complain (too much).

Oh yeah, and if you like, you can begin sending email to my new SBC address: presidentjobu@sbcglobal.net. BONG!

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Post by Ketch » Thu Oct 30, 2003 6:10 pm

Welcome to the world of broadband!

BTW great email addy.
All Hail President Jobu.
"if you can't spot the sucker in your first thirty minutes at the table, then YOU are the sucker" - Rounders

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