What the fuck?

Dis be da place to let all yo' homies know a lil' sumpin' sumpin' bout any fine delicacies you done been takin' in as of late. Not so much fo' eating establishments, but mo' fo' praisin/bitchin about specific food items you done consumed.

Moderator: Gomer

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Gomer
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What the fuck?

Post by Gomer » Wed Apr 30, 2003 10:11 am

This forum has gotten <b>no</b> love since last May&#63 Have we not been eating anything interesting lately&#63 Well I decided that a good way to get it some use would be to bring back old food-related posts. Specifically, the infamous "Teriyaki Demon" story. Enjoy...and post more food shit!

(begin old post)
Yo.

Just thought I'd warn all of you about these teriyaki sticks I've been eating lately. I first purchased a bag of them from Costco at the last LAN party we had. I tried one, and damn it tasted good. So I decided to indulge myself in them that night. I probably consumed close to 7 or 8 teriyaki sticks before turning in for the night. When I went to sleep that night, all was well.

4:00 AM rolls around. I awaken to what I can only interpret as a 6 inch blade piercing my abdominal region. I toss and turn for a few minutes, in a feeble attempt to sate the pain in my belly.

(begin embellishment)
I then rush to the bathroom and lower my supple asscheeks to the cold, unforgiving porcelein. A moment's hesitation violently changes to painful certainty as my asshole puckers up and delivers a white-hot shot of brown fire to the awaiting water below. I take no notice of the chilly shit-water licking at my assneck, as my full attention has now been diverted to expelling the viscious teriyaki demon from my colon. With a final unbridaled scream of triumph and agony, I force the vile waste matter from my being forever.
(end embellishment)

As a result, I have relegated myself to only consuming 3 teriyaki sticks at a time. Three seems to be safe enough to avoid angering the vengeful teriyaki gods. I would not wish a repeat performance of that night's horrible events on my worst enemy.
(end old post)

Happy belated bday Ms. Yakidemon!

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